‘Spider-Man’ fans are on red alert as scientists study lizard regeneration to help humans

Peter Parker has fought many foes during his decades in comics, TV, and film. One of the most horrifying, and most tragic, is The Lizard — who is actually Peter’s mentor, Dr. Curt Conners.

Conners was a geneticist researching certain reptiles’ ability to regrow missing limbs. It’s an understandable passion for Conners, since he’s missing his right arm. However, upon testing a lizard-DNA-based serum on himself, the good doctor transformed into a giant, feral, anthropomorphic lizard. Hence, he became a real problem for Spider-Man, and for New York City.

Now, let’s look at a recent tweet by Sky News:

A study into how lizards regenerate their tails could boost efforts to achieve similar results in human cartilage, researchers have said https://t.co/h2ODgjTVjq

— Sky News (@SkyNews) August 10, 2023 Obviously, Spider-Man fans were quick to condemn the research:

To be FAIR… Lizard has two arms. It worked.

— decentdullahan (@decentdullahan) August 10, 2023 Regarding the study itself, experts at the University of Southern California have offered the first-ever detailed look at how two cell types in certain reptiles can coordinate to grow back an appendage.

One of the authors said reptiles’ ability to regenerate cartilage as the main structural tissue of an appendage (such as the tail) could provide insight for future studies on how to rebuild cartilage in humans who suffer from osteoarthritis — a degenerative disease with no cure that causes swelling and pain in people’s joints.

According to findings, cells called fibroblasts are a vital cell type that make up a lizard’s new tail once it regrows. Apparently, the main challenge is the tendency for human tissue to scar, which prevents regrowth. But the study authors also found that the immune cell septoclast is what inhibits scarring in lizards.

Now, scientists just have to find a way to ensure septoclasts can somehow stave off scarring in humans — and then we’re off to the “giant lizard on the news setting off gas rockets to turn all of New York into lizards as well” races.

Look, we don’t suffer from osteoarthritis. We’re sure it’s painful and annoying and pretty unnecessary given medical capabilities in the 21st century.

If someone is able to keep their arm from throbbing with a new lizard-based treatment, great. But if that same arm starts to turn green and the person grows to be the size of a school bus, well, we told you so.